I Suck – An Understatement
Today has been an utterly useless day. I have been beating myself up all day because I missed Hubby’s phone calls from boot camp. He doesn’t get to make them often, so they are special and important to me.
And in the typical “understanding” way of my father, “Well, I’m sure he left a message.”
Yes. He left a message. But I didn’t get to TALK TO HIM. Yes, I’m yelling. I’m pissed off. I have been wanting to do nothing but talk to the man, for two weeks, for more than the 4 minutes of, “Send a copy of your ID and my divorce decree.”
Dammit!
And what was my excuse? Why was I not able to answer the house phone or my cell phone? Because that’s what he said on one of the messages, “If you’re not going to be home to answer the phone, you are supposed to have your cell phone. What the hell??? Where are you???” Guilt? Dissappointment? Frustration? Yep, all those. And why?
I was sleeping.
Yep, sleep deprived me of talking to my beloved. I was up all night coughing with this STUPID sinus infection. Didn’t fall asleep till 4:30. I was sleeping the sleep of the dead. No phone even penetrated. 10:30 came and went and all I saw and heard were the sights and sounds of my dreamland. Neither house phone nor cell phone penetrated to my location. The real world obviously doesn’t compute there.
All day, I’ve been obsessing about this. How angry is he? Will he get a chance to call again today? This week? Ever? And his message, he obviously didn’t get the note on the fax cover when I sent my ID saying his divorce decree is missing and I’ve sent for a copy. Why wouldn’t they tell him that? And he gets leave for Christmas, yay! But we need to decide how to work it because it will be graduation as well, and we want to watch that. Then they only will send him to A school, not home first, so how do we work that?
Lots of things to talk about. While I was sleeping away. Leaving my sailor man hanging.
Dammit.
