Last night I got a call at 10:10PM from a home security alarm monitoring company. There was an alarm going off at my father’s house and I was on his list as the person to contact. My first question to the nice lady was, “Did you try calling his cell phone?” She told me she did and there was no answer there or on the home phone. Then she politely asked if I would meet the authorities at Da’s house. I told her I would, but that it would take me 20 minutes to get there. She told me she would have the authorities call when they got to the house if I was needed.

I then immediately called my father’s cell phone, which he answered on the second ring. His muffled hello at first shocked me. I asked if he was okay and he said he was, that he had had a small kitchen fire, but everything was now okay. He was eating dinner.

!?!?!?!?

Yes, Da was happily munching away on his dinner. Fifteen miles away his daughter is having a minor melt down hoping he’s okay. And he’s EATING DINNER!

Ugh!

Me: The alarm company called.

Da: <munch, munch> Yea? You know they don’t show you how to turn off the alarm when it’s for smoke or fire. <munch, munch> {Long drawn out story about how he forgot to turn off the stove with a frying pan with oil in it. Oil caught fire. He put the pan in the sink where water hit it and spread the fiery oil around. He used a wet towel to put out the rest of the flames.}

Me: Did you talk to the alarm company?

Da: <munch> No. <munch>

Me: Well, they’re sending the authorities because you didn’t answer either of your phones. They want me to come down and meet them.

Da: <munch, ahem, cough, cough> Oh, you don’t have to come down. <ahem, cough>

Me: So are you going to call the alarm company and tell them you’re okay?

Da: I guess I should

Me: It would be nice.

Long story longer. He’s okay. My childhood home is okay. Presumably the authorities were alerted and did not make it all the way to the house, but I’m not certain on that one. And my heart has finally gone back to normal rhythms.

<sigh>